Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize