I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
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