i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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