I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize