We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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