i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
