He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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