the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
