yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
