I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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