Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
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She bit a glass in half.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
It's rum buckets o'clock
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
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