I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
