Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
