I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
bring money and cleavage
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
