i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
