You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
