I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
