Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
