well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
im six kinds of drunk right now
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
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LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
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So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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