Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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