Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
