He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
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I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
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Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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