Are we in a gay sports bar?
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
