if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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