But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
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Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
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