Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
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