turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
