wrigley field is MILF paradise
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
