singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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