My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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