i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
