She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I need to calm my uterus...
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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