i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Just high enough for therapy.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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