You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
