what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
