new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
