It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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