the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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