Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
