the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
