If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You need a sexual gate keeper
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
