Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
