just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
