i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Randomize
