His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize