There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
