the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
