If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
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So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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