Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
