Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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