Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
