woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
