I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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