Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
