i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
