so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Randomize
