It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
