they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My penis needs a shock collar
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
