Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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