I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
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