so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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