whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
