You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
